Wooly Mammoth Judges

Nina Garcetti| The Dog Press | June 2010 / It’s like the Ice Age in reverse. Somewhere between “Is this guy incompetent” and “Is this one a crook”, I desperately search the abyss trying to find a judge who will actually judge my dog on his merits.

As entries plummet nationwide, the lame excuse I hear from AKC is “It’s The Economy”. Well STUPID I am NOT! I guess no one at AKC has gotten the memo… Exhibitors are fed up with spending our hard earned money on crooks and incompetents. The knowledgeable honest judge has gone the way of the Wooly Mammoth. If you are looking for the remnants of the Highly Respected Judge, he can be found buried in a glacier with the rest of our fond memories of dog shows past.

So what led to the demise of the Highly Respected Dog Show Judge? Like all mass extinctions throughout history, environmental issues played a big part. In our case it is the need climb the social hierarchy at AKC that lends itself to the eventual plunge into the bottomless crevasse of “He actually used to judge dogs. What happened?”

Now remember, Dog Show Judges may not “solicit” for assignments. So what is a Judge supposed to do in order to get hired? Getting assignments looks more like a violation of the RICO Act than an endeavor to hire honest, reputable judges to officiate over the selection of our breeding stock! And where is AKC on all of this? Turning a blind eye to the blatant racketeering that goes on. Pretending they are still in the Ice Age when judges were just judges instead of prehistoric caricatures. Here is how the whole mess plays out...

You have a show giving club. You add a judge or two your membership roster. That is easy to do because judges need to be in the loop in order to get themselves hired and that means joining a lot of kennel clubs. So your new member judges get a Judges Selection Committee gig in your club. That makes your hiring job easier because the new guys are anxious to do a little assignment swapping. That gets them provisional’s or more assignments with the judges they help hire for your show. It’s known as “quid pro quo”. “You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours”. No one solicited but everyone gets hired.

Then there are the all-powerful Saber Tooth Tigers of the Dog Show World. The “Cluster Chairs”. These are the guys that can pull down a whole herd of assignments. It’s their game and if you don’t play it their way, you’re done as a judge. Saber Tooth Tigers only put up their friends, the ones who got them their connections. But there is no need to fear the Tigers as long as you are a club president or show chairman, you are part of the game. Now everything will come your way. The Tigers and the Mammoths play ball, I know, that’s not a pretty picture. You might think about applying yourself, the prehistoric beasts you are now in league with will make sure your first assignment is right around the corner.

But remember, they have tusks and claws and once you let them in the door, they can also hurt you. Cross one (or a friend of theirs) and BAM, you’re done. From Paradise to the Primordial in the wink of an eye.

Some of those judges campaign dogs in the Top 10 but being Tigers, they are sneaky. They put them in someone else’s name so they can trade wins with their friends. Got a major show that’s a must win? Easy. Use the call of the wild network and it’s a done deal! All it takes is a willing co owner and voila!, you have a big winning special. It’s just that simple. Hell, put your own dog up. After all, he’s not in your name. Your friend’s new special next weekend? It’s a done deal. Never mind how foolish you look to ringside.

The situation is reaching Critical Mass. That point of no return when extinction is eminent. With pressure from the Animal Rights movement, anti-pet zoning laws, a nationwide recession and tons of bad PR for AKC, you got to ask yourself “Is this “SPORT” really worth it?” How long can we keep running from the Tiger and stay one step ahead of the Mammoth’s crushing feet? I mean how much fun is this?

The game is beginning to smell like a Mastodon carcass that has succumbed to global warming. AKC could care less about dog show people. They care even less about making any of this look like it is on the up and up. “Embarrass AKC? Give the Sport a bad name? Well these folks don’t embarrass. It can’t be done.

Not even their peers dare say a word. They know that’s a toothy tiger standing right next to them. And their own club has at least one ”Wooly Mammoth In The Room”. Everyone who shows dogs perceives the ominous glacial death of the fancy. It’s all you hear at ringside anymore. We see the back slapping behind the concession stand and that wink when they think they pulled it off without a hitch. That’s right, we’re all stupid. But we’re not blind.

We see the all-expense paid trip to judge in Paradise; 4 days hotel, meals, transfers and tax. We know the clubs that throw in a round of golf with greens fees paid, compliments of Mr. Big Winner’s backers. Just put up his dog and it can all be yours! You know he can’t walk, but hey exhibitors are all stupid, remember? Well maybe we’re not so stupid. We are all fed up with corruption and it is high time to name names. AKC isn’t going to save us here. They can’t even save themselves.

Here’s what you CAN DO. Tell your fellow breeders to starve them out. Don’t give them an entry. Put them on your Do Not Show list. No peanuts for the bad elephant! If they can’t even draw flies they won’t be in demand. Tell your local clubs. Put them on the Do Not Hire List. Spread the word. Tell the AKC to stop allowing judges to campaign “specials”. Never mind. You can’t tell AKC anything.

Tell the bad judges you will not give them another entry if they keep putting up poor specimens of your breed. Never mind that either. You can’t tell a bad judge they’re a crook.

They think we're all stupid. And blind too. Remember?

One thing we can tell them is goodbye. If I don’t, I am just beating a Dead Mammoth! I’m either part of the problem or I’m going to get the monsters out of my way! I’m tired of it and I am not going to wait for the next Ice Age to freeze them out. How about you?

Read Nina’s take on: AKC Branding Purebred Dogs

http://www.thedogpress.com/ClubNews/Wooly-Judges-10061_Garcetti.asp