Crusades
Step
Away From The Keyboard
by
Dannielle Malcolm
Like
everyone else, at the end of a long working day full of stress and aggravation,
I go home with hope in my heart, awaiting those three little words that tell me
I’m special…. “You’ve Got Mail”!
The internet changed everything.
We live in an electronic society dominated by online banking, online stores,
online auctions, and online discussions. Removal of the human element seemed
like a good idea at the time. But how often have you found yourself having to
explain away a seemingly innocent comment because it was interpreted wrong by
the receiver? The difficulties multiply exponentially when you add in the not so
accidental incidents.
Chat rooms and message boards
have become the virtual street corners of a new breed of thug. These internet
bullies can be anything from mildly annoying to flat out dangerous. We see this
trend strongly in the online purebred community, in everything from breed forums
to club lists to discussions on judging. Public chat rooms of pets in general
are also available and are often more volatile than the rest. Chat rooms are
frequented by “animal rights activists” who immediately begin their assault on
seeing the word ‘breeder” or “show dog” in your posts. On private lists,
membership rosters can be managed, even to the extent of removing inflammatory
postings. Of course, you must hope that the person responsible isn’t so
influential that the list/room owner/operator is intimidated themselves.
It’s a jungle out there. What begins as a satisfying way to quickly make new
acquaintances, and share topics near and dear to your little dog owning heart,
can quickly become a time consuming disaster. In our chat and message room
jungle a variety of creatures dwell, whose only purpose in life is to feed off
the pain of others. Some are stealthy, quietly gathering personal information
one misguided and innocent seeming statement at a time. Some are contributors to
a ‘hive’, bringing back all that they can to a central location to be used by
the collective. Some are voracious predators, who, once they see a vulnerable
spot, go directly for the kill. There are decoys, who act in a sympathetic
manner, hoping to catch you unaware. And there are creatures whose tactics are
consistent baiting in hopes of a response; the bigger, the better.
Such vultures have been known to forward your information or even entire chat
logs to third parties in the twisted hopes of disrupting your life. Often the
logs or mail messages have been tampered with or altered to make it appear the
instigator is being victimized. Complaints to peoples’ employers breed clubs,
AKC, animal control offices, even government agencies are sadly common. All
this, only for the sad and pathetic thrill of manipulating another’s affairs.
These sociopaths have no qualms about publicly posting your real name and
address or anything else they find of interest. Some even go so far as to order
background checks on their prey. Frequently though the majority of their
postings are complete fabrications. In recent investigative visits to the Pets
Dogs chat room of AOL, I saw just how easy it was to fall into the predator/prey
model. Here’s a real sample of how a conversation can go but names have been
changed to protect the guilty:
DogLover: Evening room! Anyone else have Upper Mongolian Herding Dogs?
RegRoomie1: UMHD’s? are you kidding?
Niceguy1: what’s a UMHD
DogLover: easier to see my website than to explain, great dogs, you can see
mine at www.evengengiskhanlikeddogs.com
Niceguy2: hey those are gorgeous dogs!
RegRoomie1: those dogs suck, I work in animal control and we put them down
every day for aggression won’t even adopt them out
(lie #1, establishing authority)
Niceguy1:really?
DogLover: I don’t know why you would say that they are great dogs
RegRoomie2: ROTFL you are so wrong I used to judge and your dogs are crap
(lie #2 to establish authority, these guys run in packs, but Joe Average doesn’t
know that)
Niceguy1: Reg 2, u r a judge?
RegRoomie: yeppers and that website looks like a puppy mill to me
(and so it begins…)
Niceguy3: I was just at a show and saw some UMHD and they looked nice, I was
going to put a deposit on one
DogLover: from what kennel?
Niceguy3: MongolHorde
DogLover: they have nice dogs, they had a litter in 2005 out of one of my
dogs
RegRoomie1: I’d stay away, they had three of their dogs in our rescue this
year and all had Mongolian Fever
Niceguy1: is that bad?
RegRoomie1: its terrible! the dogs all had to be put down and its hereditary
so they got it from whoever they bred to, typical puppymill
(wait for it…….)
Niceguy3: where did they get it from? I don’t want to waste my money
RegRoomie2: I know for a fact they got it from CH Steepe
(that’s it, google their kennel name and toss out the CH belonging to DogLover)
DogLover: that isn’t true
RegRoomie1: ROTFLMAO you are SO BUSTED!
RegRoomies2: puppymiller coming in here and trying to sell dogs, Nice 3 you
are so lucky we were here to help you
(establishing a relationship with the poor suckers who know no better)
Niceguy3: ty for the help
DogLover: now wait a sec, my dog does not have Mongolian Fever
RegRoomie1: suuuurrrrrreee he doesn’t
RegRoomie2: you must have finished him at the ends of the earth bc I wouldn’t
have put him up
(you can’t you aren’t really a judge)
DogLover: Ive only studded him out twice
(now they have an opening)
RegRoomie1: that’s bc everyone knows he is trash and they won’t use him
RegRoomie2: just put the BYB on iggy guys and I’ll show you some real
dogs…
DogLover’s integrity has been so severely undermined by one visit to this room
that he won’t find a friendly welcome to his posts in the future. Three NiceGuys
to one DogLover is an equation guaranteeing a cold reception. Then of course are
the expected shots from the tag team predators (Oh look, the BYB is back! How’s
your Mongolian Fever stud? LOL) bringing the entire incident back for review
with a new audience.
So why does anyone listen? It’s the inner vulture in all of us, the little voice
inside that thrives on gossip and scandal (I keep mine sedated with chocolate).
Inherently we find it easier to believe a self declared authority figure than to
listen to the defenses of the injured party. We tell ourselves, as we’ve been
conditioned to in this day and age, that being defensive immediately equates to
having something to defend, a sense of guilt.
This is just the tip of the iceberg. If RegRoomies 1 and 2 are feeling
particularly vicious, they may contact animal control in DogLover’s city and
make false claims necessitating and inspection. They may watch his site for news
of upcoming breedings and call those kennels, spreading their lies. In some
cases, it may come down to actual threats against DogLover or his animals. All
for the sake of appeasing the appetites of individuals whose pathology dictates
they must create relationships, even negative ones, with everyone around them.
If you’ve been the victim of one of these predators, you know that denial gets
you nowhere. Moderators and list owners of private groups should be encouraged
to stop such abusive language immediately- write them with your concerns.
Contacting your service provider and asking for an inquiry can be productive
only if you remember to stay in the predator/pray model; safety is in the herd.
The more complaints from similar victims you are able to amass against the
offenders the easier it is for the company to take action.
If you’ve received actual threats of violence, these should be taken seriously
and reported to your local law enforcement agency. Stalking begins with
obsession, obsession begins with interest and interest begins with the idea that
the stalker and you have a relationship (of any kind).
Try not to fall into a trap of responding. The less attention you give to these
predators the more likely they are to seek easier targets. Try not to give them
an edge. Refuse to reveal personal information in open rooms (try instant
message sessions of individual mail instead), and ask for identifying
information first from your contact to avoid scouts.
Last but certainly not least, focus on positive conversations and discussions,
apologize to the group if you’ve said something offensive in response to
baiting, place predators on immediate ignore status and keep your head high. As
a wise man once said, “Never offer explanations. Your enemies won’t believe them
and your friends don’t need them”.
© March 2006
Handy links:
__________________________________
If Dogs Had Wings, Flying With Your Companion Animal
Breed Police aka: Paw Enforcement
Akita Involved In Incident With Child At AKC Event