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Side Effects 06


For every cause, there is an effect!
Catching a developing wave is the difference between a successful ride and being caught in a Tsunami 


HOW DOGS ARE DIFFERENT


First, let’s understand the vernacular. People who cater to the whims and weirdness of a cat are not “owners.” They are indulgent caregivers, willing servants, but owners? Never! Even the court system recognizes the difference. Judge Wapner and his peers hold dog owners responsible for anything a dog does but cats can cause accidents, wreak havoc in the neighborhood, and even attack people with legal impunity.


Okay, that said, let’s start with cats – and a stipulation. I am a cat lover and while having lived with an African lioness doesn’t make me an expert on the feline family, certain behavioral traits are pretty much universally accepted. Do cats ever do what you want them to do when you want them to do it? No. Even with those highly trained TV cats that come running for food, several takes are often necessary because there may be a fluff on the floor or a foot that needs grooming. When you and I set the food bowl down, the best most cats ever manage is a leisurely stroll while showing off the latest in tail-hook maneuvers. I’d bet feline TV stars know there’s a piece of raw chicken liver in the bottom of the bowl…


Do cats ever seek you out because you’re you? No. Cat people are largely delusional. On the occasion that a cat takes time from its busy day to rub their facial scent glands across some part of the human anatomy, cat lovers feel adored. I have always thought it significant that cats prefer to mark the human face with the glands located near the anus. Indulgent owners just smile while gently nudging the cat’s posterior away from their mouth. Can you imagine a dog owner being flattered by a butt-rub facial??!!! And that “making bread” thing cats do which so delights the human psyche. Get real. They just as happily knead a roll of toilet paper!
 

A dog will follow you because you’re the pack leader and he knows you will never lead him wrong. A cat will follow you out of curiosity, nothing more, nothing less. Will a cat stand fast to protect you? No. We once had a short-lived cat that attacked any car that entered our driveway. Tac-Cat’s stupid obsession was funny but not protective. When a visitor emerged from the car, she considered it an unforgivable disruption in her otherwise ordered world and would disappear just like any other feline.
 

So what about horses you ask? Well now, you’re talking to an accomplished horsewoman. Nothing fancy, we showed a little at halter but mostly I did the games. Barrel Racing, Keyhole, Polebending – that sort of thing where the only judge was a stop watch. I loved my horses. Fed them, polished them, and learned to trim hooves. I was so into horses I became proficient in buying auction “snakes” and developing them into saleable, well mannered riding horses.
 

But did I ever have one that would come when called unless I was holding the feed bucket? No. It took no time at all to realize that Smokey, Flicka, Thunderhead, and The Black were only works of fiction. Like cats, horses couldn’t care less about protecting anything not equine. They say donkeys protect flocks or herds or some such nonsense. No way. Jacks just go after anything they don’t know personally, including unfamiliar humans. Horses and mules settled the west and won WWI for us. Credit where it’s due. But not a one went to war without a bit in its mouth! We have a friend who is a multi-species trainer and her liberty horse performs beautifully but not because he wants to do it for her! She could ask him all day long to bring in the sheep or fetch the newspaper and he’d just swish his tail in her face. When she asks her German Shepherd to go out to the round pen and bring her the feed bucket, Colonel not only does it, he’s delighted that she asked. Let a horse get himself in trouble and it is the dog that alerts Joan to the problem. Can you imagine it the other way around???!!
 

When the day is over, the horse gladly shucks the reins of civilization and heads for equine companionship and a good roll. Where is your dog? If not at your side, he’s waiting at the door. Think about going out and your dog is looking for the keys but is your horse thrilled when you hook to the trailer or is he gone? If sickness prevented you from feeding the horse, would he worry about your absence? Or would he leave you horseless at the first sign of an open gate???
 

Your dog will starve rather than leave you. Unlike the mules in forced servitude, military dogs trotted happily alongside the handler. They protected the camps, carried messages, and boosted moral when the going got really tough.
 

Well, I think we settled that subject quite nicely don’t you? Of course cats and horses are different than dogs. That is the point. No creature other than your spouse or parents is as unselfishly devoted to you as is your dog.
 

No wild horse ever put his own head in the halter. Capture a pariah dog (jungle Basinji comes easily to mind) and it will become your friend. Capture a mustang and you can tame him but never leave the gate open…. I don’t know much about the ship of the desert. My second choice pet has always been an elephant. Although both have been domesticated for centuries I’ll betcha the camel or elephant would be quite happy to never see a human again. Only the dog stays because he wants to stay. And puleeeze, don’t tell me how we devolved them into children and that’s why they are so dependent on humans. Whoever scripted those Animal Planet shows are obviously cat lovers….
 

Perhaps, in the intricate scheme of Creation, a design whereby everything fits and even the Platypus has a place, Dog was created for only one purpose. Unlike any other mammal, Man needs flattery, support, and unconditional love. He hungered through centuries of evolutionary progress until The Creator, in His infinite wisdom, realized He had made Man differently. He looked at all the beasts over which we had dominion and decided that the wolf, with its highly developed social structure, would complete human development and be the perfect example of enduring love. And so it was that wolf became Dog, allowing us to share life with a selfless, inherently good soul, totally free of malice and deceit.
 

Dog came for a bone tossed carelessly into the brush but significantly, only Dog crept to the fire and laid down beside man. A millennium ago Dog chose Man.
 

And that’s why dogs are different.


 

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