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 Side
Effects Of A Good Laugh are...
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People win real money.
Submit your Funny Effect
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site, plus you qualify for the
$100.00 CASH
Journalists Award.
 (A) The number of
physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.
(B) Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year are 120,000.
(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.
(Statistics
courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health and Human Services.)
Now think about this
....
  (A) The number of gun owners
in the U.S. is 80,000,000. Yes, that is 80 million.
(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is
1,500.
(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is 0.0000187.
(Statistically, doctors are 9,144 times more dangerous than gun owners.)
Conclusion: "Guns don't kill people, doctors do."
FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE
DOCTOR.
Please
alert your friends to this alarming threat.
WE MUST BAN DOCTORS BEFORE THIS GETS COMPLETELY OUT OF HAND!!!!!
Out of concern for the
public at large, our statistician withheld data on lawyers for fear
the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention.
Editor's Note: Politically
Incorrect but statistically true. Truth can be funnier than fiction...
A $50 prize winner submitted by Dave Dorsett, Austin, TX
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TEACHING MATH was our
2005 Winner
Last week I
purchased a cheeseburger for $2.58. The counter girl took my $3 and I
was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave
it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while
looking at the screen on her register with her mouth open. I sensed her
discomfort and suggested to her to just give me two quarters, but she
was compelled to hail the manager for help. When he tried to explain the
nuances of the transaction to her, she stood there and began
to cry. Why do I tell
you this? So I can rant about the importance of understanding basic
math and the flawed way it is now being taught. Here is the "History of
Teaching Math" over the last 50 or so years:
Teaching Math In 1950
A logger sells a
truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the
price. What is his profit?
Teaching Math In 1960
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of
production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
Teaching Math In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of
production is $80. Did he make a profit?
Teaching Math In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of
production is $80 and his profit is 20. Your assignment: Underline the
number 20 and put a $ sign to the left (front) of it.
Teaching Math In 1990
By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20 of
capitalistic profit. What do you think of this way of making a living?
Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the
forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their trees.
(There are no wrong answers.)
Teaching Math In 2005
El hachero vende un camion carga por $100. La cuesta de
production es.............
And we wonder why jobs requiring basic skills are outsourced to other countries?
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BAIL OUT MATH
The next time you hear a
politician use the word "billion" in a casual manner, think about
whether you want the "politicians" spending your tax money.
A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising
agency did a good job of putting that figure into perspective in one of
its releases.
a.. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
b.. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
c.. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
d.. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.
e.. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the
rate our government is spending it.
While those numbers are still making our
brain spin, this wasn't the first bail-out. Let's take a look
at New Orleans:
Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), asked Congress
for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans. Interesting number, what
does it mean?
If you are one of 484,674 residents of New Orleans you each get
$516,528.
Or, if you own one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans, you get $1,329,787.
Or, if you are a family of four, your family gets $2,066,012.
Washington, D.C. ....
Are all your calculators
broken???
$50
Certificate to Tam Cordingley
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There have been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq
theater of operations during the last 22 months,
a total of
2112 deaths - a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000.
The rate in D.C. (among others) is 80.6 per
100,000.
That means that you are about 25% more
likely to be shot and killed in our nation's capitol,
which
has the strictest gun control laws in the nation, than you
are in Iraq.
Conclusion: We should immediately pull out of Washington
D.C.
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