Columns: No Margins, No Limits, No Kidding!

CHUPACABRA WKC’S NEWEST RARE BREED?

 

Reports of a strange dog at the Westminster Dog Show! A perfectly sober friend said it ran across the coyote ring during judging!

February 12, 2014

Col. Sam Harper, Dogsport Reconnaissance

Was it another New AKC Breed? Actually some of the new breeds showing off in the Group rings are not new at all, especially the Plott Hound, powerful and purposeful and all prettied up for the Westminster dog show.  We had Plotts in Georgia and I've hunted behind the best.  The Plott Hound is NC’s official state dog.  It originated in Haywood County, known for high quality moonshine and the big tough hounds that could – and would – tackle bear and boar. The Plott has been recognized by UKC since 1946 but I’ll wager the “new breed” glimpsed at Westminster this year won’t be accepted into any registry.

The hairless long-tailed oddity seen skulking about in the upper tier seats (where there were no people this year!) would make a great addition to the AKC although it must be as rare as it is ugly.  click any photo to see video (or finish reading and then go to their video theater) Real “crushing power” as described in some breed standards.  The office said one lady called saying it was the “weirdest Designer Dog” she’d ever seen! She wanted to know where to get one, said it had a huge head and yellow eyes and she could “sell the hell out of ‘em” if she could get her hands on a breeding pair.

She said the dog was still loose on the second night. Someone sent an email describing it as hairless, with wrinkled skin on the body and a “long rectangular head shaped like a deer’s head!”

BJ realized I wasn't getting it and then suppressing a giggle, Denise said “And look at the side gait! Look at the ‘reach and drive’!” They were having fun with me but this is for real.  You can view this ground-covering, effortless movement on video. No question about it, this dog can cover miles at the wolf-trot with a glass of water on his back and not spill a drop.

Okay, by now you’ve guessed, like I finally did, that the part about Westminster rare breeds is pretty much tongue in cheek. The Chupacabra will never win a ribbon at any dog show because he has too much "variation in type.” That much I get but by then my kid got into the whole thing and we did some serious research.  The chupacabra has mostly canine features, including the biggest teeth I've ever seen except on a show I watched about wolves.  I reckon it drives scientists nuts because although the critters are hairless, some chupacabras have a mane and low hindquarters like a hyena.

Most of my reconnaissance is done online nowadays and I found out the Chupacabra ranges throughout the Americas but get this; he's been reported on Puerto Rico and other islands, meaning he can swim like a fish, stowaway on a boat, or he can fly!  This thing is said to suck out the blood of goats and has been described as standing upright and sporting wings.

Another thing I found strange when I ran across this drawing of the winged thing is that we are told the Pterodactyl is long extinct but you might want to ask the Navajo and Comanche about the thunderbird.  How many encyclopedias had they read when they named that totem?  The prehistoric bird would have sounded like thunder when he passed overhead.  The desert southwest has vast areas that are like another planet so who knows what's there?

One thing missing in newscasts, is credible DNA results. TheDogPress uncovered documentation of DNA samples sent to well known universities and forensic laboratories. What they failed to find was any believable Chupacabra DNA results! I'm used to doing my own reports and so I double checked.  The fact is, samples are frequently lost, “inconclusive” or reported as “a mangy coyote” or a “coyote-dog crossbred.” The "no-DNA" results are more than enough to get conspiracy theorists’ blood pumping.

In Prince George’s County Maryland, a Chupacabra was frequently seen by hospital workers who put food out for him. They decided to trap him so they could video and photograph the strange creature. Trained to be observant and clinical, those good folks can't identify the creature.  Follow the link they are going to include and watch these videos.  I thought I'd seen it all in 'Nam but these things blew me away.

What appears to be a young chupacabra was videoed escaping and over a wooden privacy fence in NJ. The video clip is short but clearly shows the long "rat tail" characteristic of this critter. In fact, in some live shots, the Chupacabra’s tail is so long and thick, it has been described as “like a kangaroo’s tail.” So is the thickness of the tail dependant on the creature’s age or are there variations in the species according to geographical areas?  I'll answer that.  Nobody knows.

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