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Really Religious Squirrel Solution

The Side Effect Of A Funny Thing Is Laughter

 

Squirrels love to tease dogs. Unknown is who has more fun, the ever-optimistic dog or the chattering-teasing prey but both animals love the game.

 

“Squirrel Dogs” are a breed unto themselves but you’d probably have to be a Southerner to know that.

 

 

This squirrely pass-around came from Karen Rhodes, devoted dog owner and one of our most-enjoyed NetPlaces Network writers. We’d love to credit the article author for sharing this tongue-in-cheek story (if you know, email the editor). That said, the phrase “tongue in cheek” originated in the 1700’s as a way of showing skepticism.

 

Uh huh… but please, if you know who authored the original, please email the editor.

 

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

 

At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a waterslide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

 

The Lutheran church decided that they were not able to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church. Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the waterslide.

 

The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning. They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.

 

But the Catholic church produced a very creative strategy! They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

 

And not much has been heard from the Jewish synagogue. They took the first squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.

 

Do you have a squirrel-dog? If so tell us about your dog and send a picture!

TheDogPress.com EST 2002 © May 2023 https://www.thedogpress.com/Funny/really-religious-squirrel-solution-st23FF053.asp

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POSSUM ON MY PORCH! Delightfully true tale that reminds us critters were here first.

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