YOU KNOW IT'S JULY IN TEXAS WHEN...
The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground
the trees are whistling for the dogs (to wet them).
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
Hot water now comes out of both taps and you can make sun tea instantly.
You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a helluva good branding iron!
The temperature drops below 95° and you feel a little chilly.
You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car
and you can get sunburned through your car window.
Every dog is a hotdog that relishes a cool spot.
Your biggest fear of having a bicycle wreck is,
"What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
... and you then realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs,
and the cows are giving evaporated milk.
God Bless Our State of TEXAS!!
Many thanks to Dave Dorsett. A Texan tried and true.
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